Earlier this year I came to a realisation – I don’t have the brain capacity to do academia anymore, at least in the capacity I’ve always been used to, and that realisation hurt.
The realisation that I’m no longer the academic I once was came to me when my partner, who knows me well enough to know when I’ve forgotten, nudged me to take my medication … for the fifth time.
Due to my illnesses, my disabilities, and my medication, any energy I have I spend it being in pain, which leaves little to no brain capacity for anything else. On any given day I estimate around 70% of my brain capacity is spent processing pain, and on some days that number reaches around 95%.
How to help a child deal with chronic pain. This article is a bit of an oddball, I originally wrote a guide for adults, but then I realised as an adult you can gain other systems to help you, but as a kid you’re defenceless. This article isn’t really meant for children, it’s that those […]
Learning to managing chronic pain without any support. My pain story is long and vast. It spans years of my life, it’s complicated, and difficult. One thing is the sure, I didn’t have much help growing up dealing with chronic unrelenting pain. Most of my family thought I was lying, over exaggerating, and the word […]
Dear Doctor: When you don’t know what to do. A doctor is a human being, and therefore is fallible. All humans are. However, you wouldn’t think they are by their attitudes, well some of them at least. Normally, or at least it’s normal in my experience, when a doctor doesn’t know what to do they […]
Let’s normalise talking about pain.
Pain sucks. There’s no if and or butt about it, it just sucks. But there’s something that sucks even more – telling people about the pain.
There’s a number of reactions that comes from telling about someone with pain. Shame. Embarrassment. Fear. That’s just a few of them. There’s been more than a handful of times that I can’t talk about my pain, not even on an offhand way, because it effects someone else, it scares them. After I’ve told them more often than not they put it on me to make them feel better about my pain because they can’t deal with it.
14 Sigmoidoscopy Tips From my sigmoidoscopy experience I came away with a lot of sigmoidoscopy tips that I wish I had. I realise there’s a lot of things they don’t tell you, that they really should. Some may seem like common sense, but it’s really difficult to know what you need after you’ve just going […]
13 Moviprep tips to make the experience easier. Moviprep sucks, let’s get this out of the way. It really does suck. Even if you find the taste not too bad, a litre of the stuff later you’re going to want to tip it down the drain. But, you gotta drink it. Then, you gotta show […]
There was no rest bite. By the middle of December we were sleeping – or rather I was sleeping in ten to twenty minute bursts if i was lucky. The Gent got a bit more sleep, but only because he ended up tuning my screams, moans, and mumbling out. I was extremely sleep deprived, and I’ve never felt that way before. I was delirious. I didn’t know what day was, the time, or anything really – only that I existed to hurt.
Advice | How to survive, or at least ‘tolerate’, a chronic illness flares.
Chronic illness flares are nothing to joke about. They come on unexpectedly, last anywhere from a few minutes to hours, and are usually just brutal. The main way my chronic illness flares is through pain, general ‘achiness’, and if it’s my IBS – stomach cramps, and a lot of toilet time.
MRI Tips and Tricks In the past ten years I’ve had around ten MRIs, heck I’ve probably had more, but they all blur into one after a while. The MRIs I’ve had have taken place in lorry like transportable vans, private facilities, seperate building, and hospitals, and from what I can tell there seems to […]