No longer an academic.

Earlier this year I came to a realisation – I don’t have the brain capacity to do academia anymore, at least in the capacity I’ve always been used to, and that realisation hurt.

The realisation that I’m no longer the academic I once was came to me when my partner, who knows me well enough to know when I’ve forgotten, nudged me to take my medication … for the fifth time.

Due to my illnesses, my disabilities, and my medication, any energy I have I spend it being in pain, which leaves little to no brain capacity for anything else. On any given day I estimate around 70% of my brain capacity is spent processing pain, and on some days that number reaches around 95%.

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