Earlier this year I came to a realisation – I don’t have the brain capacity to do academia anymore, at least in the capacity I’ve always been used to, and that realisation hurt.
The realisation that I’m no longer the academic I once was came to me when my partner, who knows me well enough to know when I’ve forgotten, nudged me to take my medication … for the fifth time.
Due to my illnesses, my disabilities, and my medication, any energy I have I spend it being in pain, which leaves little to no brain capacity for anything else. On any given day I estimate around 70% of my brain capacity is spent processing pain, and on some days that number reaches around 95%.
Thinking Out Loud: 3 Minutes on Time & Disability A new series I’m toying with. I can talk for hours, and hours on any numbers of subject, but that’s not always possible, or necessary, sometimes all it takes is three minutes to get a point across. Follow me: Newsletter | Twitter | Instagram | YouTube
Choosing Accessibility A few months ago, I decided to buy a wheelchair. I spent the entirety of June, and July house bound from pain. Going out and doing any activity that required me to walk for longer than the length of a house caused searing burning pain in my feet that would take days to […]
Why helping can be hurting. By now, I’d say that I’m a professional patient. When I see new doctors they remark that I have a pretty extensive medical knowledge, and always ask if I have a background in the medical field. I do not, I’ve just been chronically ill since the age of 12. Being […]
When you’re at your limit, and you have to keep going. When I was younger, and only had pain in one part of my body, I couldn’t comprehend how people could deal with multiple body wide chronic illnesses. Fast forward to today, and I am one of those people. Over the past few months I’ve realised that […]
Being sucker punched by triggers. In the age of trigger warnings, and political correctness, most people forget one very simple thing – anything can be a trigger. I am a firm believer in trigger warnings for content that is explicit. If I can avoid seeing images, or reading news I know will have an effect […]